Leaving...

It has been five months since I left Taiwan. I don't know why it took me this long to write about it, maybe it's because of the hurt I felt or the reality that comes with it. But I still remember that day clearly, I can never forget it, ever. Until I die, it will be carved in my heart and my mind. It was the most painful thing I've ever done in my life. That when I think of it, tears fall down my eyes. I really didn't want to leave, I never wanted to leave him. What hurts more is that it was beyond my control and I couldn't do anything about it. I was about to leave the one I love and I couldn't even do anything. Just by thinking of it makes me so mad. Seeing him cry broke my heart, I wanted to run to him and just hold him tight and never let go, but I couldn't. It was really the most difficult thing to accept. If I could just get out of the plane or make it go back, I would have. But I couldn't, all I could do was sit on the damn plane and cry. I couldn't stop crying. I just cried and cried throughout the entire flight back home. Even when I was back home, I couldn't help myself from crying. When I'm awake, I cry most of the time. I even cry myself to sleep. I felt so hopeless. It felt like I left a part of me in Taiwan. I left someone who's so precious to me, the someone whom I cared the most, the someone that I love with all my life. I really hated life that time. The only thing that made me get through it all was him. It was like magic, that even though he's so far away, when I hear from him, it makes all the pain go away. Love really makes wonders.